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If I ask him to tidy he does eventually but not very well, he never cleans in there and if he washes his clothes (a rare event and I don't wash them anymore for him) he doesn't return the washing basket or clothes horse, he also always has dirty plates, cups and bowls in his room.
The final straw last night - dh and I for the first time in years have tickets to a few gigs over the next few months (we never go out otherwise), including one this weekend, and I'd asked my son to babysit for my youngest who is 10, asked him to make sure he would finish work in time to be here for that.
[He spends all his time on his computer, doesn't have a career plan, and again doesn't seem to care.
He never seems to do homework or studying and I don't feel I should have to stand over him and make him do it at his age.
He doesn't wash his hands, I doubt if he cleans his teeth, his room is a tip and REEKS!
He's had nearly 2 months to sort it but came home last night and said he'd forgotten and can't babysit as he's working late.
We have no friends or family locally where our youngest can go and no babysitter we'd trust (only know of one and I wouldn't want her looking after my daughter!